When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!
What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!
How did the boy feel after being caned?
What's black and white all over and difficult?
An exam paper!
Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Father: I hear you skipped school to play football
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?
Pupil: The school bus!
What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?
A dead school bus!
How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!