Thursday, September 1, 2011

Mix Jokes -2

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had?
The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had!

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What?, and get bitten!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write .
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Teacher: Didn't you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!

Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?
Pupil: Nobody I know!

How did you do in your tests?
I did what George Washington did!

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.
Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!

Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you?
Pupil: How did you know?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!

"What's the matter with your dinner?"
"Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten!"

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

What kinds of tests do they give witches?

Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb
Father: Really?, what did she say?

Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!

What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man!

What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

I'm not going back to school ever again
Why ever not?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions!

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

What's that fly doing in my gravy?
Looks like the breast stroke!

Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

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